Struggle of most women, right? I want to lose weight.
I'm gonna lay it on the line here. At my heaviest pregnancy weight, I was about 186. That was with Ian. After he was born I got into the 160s. And I never worked it out. Which was bad.
On January 1, 2012, I weighed in at 176. Not pregnant. I'm 5'3" so a normal weight for me would be 125-135. Ouch.
If you've ever seen me, my body type does not allow me to be in the 120's. I have boobs and butt, with some to spare. My goal is 145 lbs. And I'm going to do it.
I started with Atkins, and lost a few. But I love carbs. A lot. So I switched to a calorie counting app (MyFitnessPal.com) and threw myself into my Jazzercise training (which I was going to do anyway).
I got down to 164.8 (loss of almost 12 lbs! yay!). And then the Girl Scout Cookies came in. They're my crack. I eat a box a day. *smh*
Today I sit at about 167. Not too shabby for 2 months into the year, but I still have 20 lbs to lose. I'd like to do it by summer. Maybe full on teaching Jazzercise will help (and the consumption of the final box of cookies).
Keep me honest. 145 lbs. I'm going to make it.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Demon Dream
I had the SCARIEST dream of my life a few nights ago...
I was in a classroom, a Bible study more specifically. The room was odd shaped, the desks in two long rows facing the whiteboard. I knew no one (thankfully, because I'm sure I couldn't speak to anyone after what happened).
I don't know what the facilitator was discussing, but one of my classmates suddenly stood up. His eyes turned black -- the whites, the iris, everything pitch black. His arms were outstretched and his head flung back, as if he were looking up at the ceiling. I don't remember sounds of any sort, but I do remember this pull. Think of lead shavings and a magnet. This student was the magnet, and the rest of us were shavings. We were pulled, hard, against our will, maliciously. It felt so wrong. I didn't understand it.
It stopped suddenly, and all were sitting down, listening to our facilitator calmly. The man to my left and the man in front of me stood up. They turned to me, eyes black just like the other student. They began to speak -- I don't know what they said, but I can only describe it as demonic. They reached for me. Out of instinct, I raised my arms in front of me, making a cross. I screamed "I love Jesus!" over and over. And I felt it. A bubble. Protection. Something surrounded me. Thank goodness, too...my possessed classmates were clawing at me, attacking me.
Again, all was quiet and normal. The facilitator kept right on talking. The only words I caught were Nehemiah 9:8.
"You found his heart faithful to you, and you made a covenant with him to give to his descendants the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Jebusites and Girgashites. You have kept your promise because you are righteous."
And I woke up.
Freaked me out. How does one even start to interpret that!!
First, total affirmation to myself that I believe in Jesus and what He did for us. I'm totally sure of that now. Second, I believe in demons. They work in our lives in more ways than we'll know until we move on to our final destination. Third, I need to trust the Lord. I've studied Joshua. I've learned what happens when you do and when you don't. But I'm big on having control. And I need to relinquish that need. Last, I'm on the right path. I don't know if the dream was sent from above or below. If from above, He showed me I DO believe. If from below, Satan showed me he WANTS me. But I proved he CAN'T HAVE ME.
I'm doing more thanking, more praying, more observing, more reflecting...I'm just doing more with my faith, personally. I'm looking forward to what the Lord will do with me.
I was in a classroom, a Bible study more specifically. The room was odd shaped, the desks in two long rows facing the whiteboard. I knew no one (thankfully, because I'm sure I couldn't speak to anyone after what happened).
I don't know what the facilitator was discussing, but one of my classmates suddenly stood up. His eyes turned black -- the whites, the iris, everything pitch black. His arms were outstretched and his head flung back, as if he were looking up at the ceiling. I don't remember sounds of any sort, but I do remember this pull. Think of lead shavings and a magnet. This student was the magnet, and the rest of us were shavings. We were pulled, hard, against our will, maliciously. It felt so wrong. I didn't understand it.
It stopped suddenly, and all were sitting down, listening to our facilitator calmly. The man to my left and the man in front of me stood up. They turned to me, eyes black just like the other student. They began to speak -- I don't know what they said, but I can only describe it as demonic. They reached for me. Out of instinct, I raised my arms in front of me, making a cross. I screamed "I love Jesus!" over and over. And I felt it. A bubble. Protection. Something surrounded me. Thank goodness, too...my possessed classmates were clawing at me, attacking me.
Again, all was quiet and normal. The facilitator kept right on talking. The only words I caught were Nehemiah 9:8.
"You found his heart faithful to you, and you made a covenant with him to give to his descendants the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Jebusites and Girgashites. You have kept your promise because you are righteous."
And I woke up.
Freaked me out. How does one even start to interpret that!!
First, total affirmation to myself that I believe in Jesus and what He did for us. I'm totally sure of that now. Second, I believe in demons. They work in our lives in more ways than we'll know until we move on to our final destination. Third, I need to trust the Lord. I've studied Joshua. I've learned what happens when you do and when you don't. But I'm big on having control. And I need to relinquish that need. Last, I'm on the right path. I don't know if the dream was sent from above or below. If from above, He showed me I DO believe. If from below, Satan showed me he WANTS me. But I proved he CAN'T HAVE ME.
I'm doing more thanking, more praying, more observing, more reflecting...I'm just doing more with my faith, personally. I'm looking forward to what the Lord will do with me.
Catch-Up
There's so much going on!
Jazzercise -- I'm training (again) to be a Jazzercise instructor (again!)! I used to instruct when we lived in Iowa. I've regretted giving it up (both physically and socially) but now I'm back. The training isn't HARD per se, but in my current physical state it's more taxing than it needs to be. My mentor is amazing. Workshop is just a few weeks away.
Scentsy -- My business is BOOMING! My team grew a ton (ok, just 8) in February. I have a few theories as to why that is, which I'll touch on later. Scentsy in general is growing. New products and all that jazz...it's very exciting. I'm so glad I joined.
Logan -- 4 years old and full of vim and vigor (that's the nice way of saying he has an attitude, right?). He's going to the CDC's part-day enrichment class twice a week. He's making friends. And growing up right before my eyes. He'll be in school in less than 18 months. Seems impossible.
Ian -- No real success on the potty training front. Every other day or so he'll actually pee in the potty. One day he pooped -- twice. But I certainly wouldn't let him go without a pull-up on. His speech is getting incredible -- full sentences and using words like "is" and knowing yours, mine, etc. Kinda feels like he just woke up and he could talk one day. The only concern we have is that little thing that connects your tongue to the bottom of your mouth...probably gonna have to have his clipped. He's got some extra skin, according to the dentist.
Eric -- Thankfully Eric's schedule has calmed down quite a bit. Work is ever-changing, as always, but he's home a lot more now. The kids and I appreciate it.
Faith -- This is the big one for me. I'm saved! I'm a baby born-again. HA! I never thought that was possible. But giving my life to God has given me some peace about a TON of stuff. I still worry about a lot, but not as hard as I used to. God will provide. God will take care of me. God will give, if only I ask. How cool is that? He is an awesome God, and I'm so thankful I am his beloved child.
So....faith and Scentsy. Combined. FOR REAL!!!! My church offered a 90-day tithing challenge. Tithe for 90 days. If God doesn't bless you, we'll give you your money back! Great deal huh? I took it. THAT'S when my Scentsy business took off. February 1 there were 3 on my team. I think the tithing challenge started the 5th. From the 6th through the 24th, 8 more people joined my team. THE LORD IS AMAZING!!!!
My faith is growing. And I love it!
May God bless you as He has me :-)
Jazzercise -- I'm training (again) to be a Jazzercise instructor (again!)! I used to instruct when we lived in Iowa. I've regretted giving it up (both physically and socially) but now I'm back. The training isn't HARD per se, but in my current physical state it's more taxing than it needs to be. My mentor is amazing. Workshop is just a few weeks away.
Scentsy -- My business is BOOMING! My team grew a ton (ok, just 8) in February. I have a few theories as to why that is, which I'll touch on later. Scentsy in general is growing. New products and all that jazz...it's very exciting. I'm so glad I joined.
Logan -- 4 years old and full of vim and vigor (that's the nice way of saying he has an attitude, right?). He's going to the CDC's part-day enrichment class twice a week. He's making friends. And growing up right before my eyes. He'll be in school in less than 18 months. Seems impossible.
Ian -- No real success on the potty training front. Every other day or so he'll actually pee in the potty. One day he pooped -- twice. But I certainly wouldn't let him go without a pull-up on. His speech is getting incredible -- full sentences and using words like "is" and knowing yours, mine, etc. Kinda feels like he just woke up and he could talk one day. The only concern we have is that little thing that connects your tongue to the bottom of your mouth...probably gonna have to have his clipped. He's got some extra skin, according to the dentist.
Eric -- Thankfully Eric's schedule has calmed down quite a bit. Work is ever-changing, as always, but he's home a lot more now. The kids and I appreciate it.
Faith -- This is the big one for me. I'm saved! I'm a baby born-again. HA! I never thought that was possible. But giving my life to God has given me some peace about a TON of stuff. I still worry about a lot, but not as hard as I used to. God will provide. God will take care of me. God will give, if only I ask. How cool is that? He is an awesome God, and I'm so thankful I am his beloved child.
So....faith and Scentsy. Combined. FOR REAL!!!! My church offered a 90-day tithing challenge. Tithe for 90 days. If God doesn't bless you, we'll give you your money back! Great deal huh? I took it. THAT'S when my Scentsy business took off. February 1 there were 3 on my team. I think the tithing challenge started the 5th. From the 6th through the 24th, 8 more people joined my team. THE LORD IS AMAZING!!!!
My faith is growing. And I love it!
May God bless you as He has me :-)
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
SLACKER!
Yeah that's me. Total slacker. It's been over a month since I've written. Bad, bad girl.
As with anyone a lot has happened. Maybe I'll "release" all that here in the next few days.
Right now my mind is on Scentsy. And Jazzercise.
I'm training (or re-training, if you will) to instruct Jazzercise. I used to do it when we lived in Iowa, before this wonderful military thing kicked in and tore me away from home. I really really liked it. Mostly. The women I worked with were great, but, as with many groups of women, there was drama. Luckily I was just on the outer rim (to my knowledge, anyway) but it still affected me. I wasn't as sad to leave it as I should have been. But boy did I miss it when it was gone.
So I started back to class last fall. And after a few months of attending the center owner pulled me aside..."Have you ever thought about instructing?" I let out my past experience and, voila! Here I am training.
My trainer, Carol, is much more intense than my first one. We have scheduled twice weekly practices. She's very picky with technique and transitions and cueing and intensity...I love it. She is going to make me get better. I need someone to kick me in the behind sometimes.
Workshop is March 22. Pray for me!!!
love ~angel~
As with anyone a lot has happened. Maybe I'll "release" all that here in the next few days.
Right now my mind is on Scentsy. And Jazzercise.
I'm training (or re-training, if you will) to instruct Jazzercise. I used to do it when we lived in Iowa, before this wonderful military thing kicked in and tore me away from home. I really really liked it. Mostly. The women I worked with were great, but, as with many groups of women, there was drama. Luckily I was just on the outer rim (to my knowledge, anyway) but it still affected me. I wasn't as sad to leave it as I should have been. But boy did I miss it when it was gone.
So I started back to class last fall. And after a few months of attending the center owner pulled me aside..."Have you ever thought about instructing?" I let out my past experience and, voila! Here I am training.
My trainer, Carol, is much more intense than my first one. We have scheduled twice weekly practices. She's very picky with technique and transitions and cueing and intensity...I love it. She is going to make me get better. I need someone to kick me in the behind sometimes.
Workshop is March 22. Pray for me!!!
love ~angel~
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
A Change of Pace
I'm getting better at following my friends' blogs. And I really like the formats they use. I had started this with the intention of almost "article-writing," picking a topic and spewing my thoughts on it. But that's not really my style. I ramble WAY too much. So, Tegan and Sierra, I'm gonna try it your way -- life happenings as they happen. Online diary, here I come.
Typical Tuesday. Logan, my oldest, had part-day enrichment at the CDC (child development center, not Center for Disease Control). I needed stamps so I can (hopefully) do Christmas cards. I stood in line 30 minutes. Our base post office is SUPER busy this time of year, but the alternative is far scarier. My only time at a post office off-base was very unpleasant. (see i'm rambling...). Ok, Logan at school, I need stamps, my friend Amy to the rescue. She picked him up since her son attends too. And Logan has a major meltdown.
What is wrong with my CHILD?? He will be 4 next month, and I just can't believe my child acts this way! Screaming, jumping in anger, crying his eyes out, "I don't want to go with you!" All in front of other parents and his teachers. Not every day is like this. But WOW!
Right now I'm chalking it up to Daddy's travels. Poor Eric has been gone a lot more than we anticipated when we accepted this assignment. It's all been for good, mind you. But sheesh. The boys have a hard time with saying hi to Daddy only to turn around and see him off again in a few days. What kid wouldn't? Thank goodness for cell phones and Skype.
Tomorrow Eric comes home. Hopefully for about 8 months (with a few 2-day trips in there for good measure). I'm really hoping that having him around will help Logan get his attitude in check.
I'm going to have to start cooking regular meals again. I hope I remember how.
Typical Tuesday. Logan, my oldest, had part-day enrichment at the CDC (child development center, not Center for Disease Control). I needed stamps so I can (hopefully) do Christmas cards. I stood in line 30 minutes. Our base post office is SUPER busy this time of year, but the alternative is far scarier. My only time at a post office off-base was very unpleasant. (see i'm rambling...). Ok, Logan at school, I need stamps, my friend Amy to the rescue. She picked him up since her son attends too. And Logan has a major meltdown.
What is wrong with my CHILD?? He will be 4 next month, and I just can't believe my child acts this way! Screaming, jumping in anger, crying his eyes out, "I don't want to go with you!" All in front of other parents and his teachers. Not every day is like this. But WOW!
Right now I'm chalking it up to Daddy's travels. Poor Eric has been gone a lot more than we anticipated when we accepted this assignment. It's all been for good, mind you. But sheesh. The boys have a hard time with saying hi to Daddy only to turn around and see him off again in a few days. What kid wouldn't? Thank goodness for cell phones and Skype.
Tomorrow Eric comes home. Hopefully for about 8 months (with a few 2-day trips in there for good measure). I'm really hoping that having him around will help Logan get his attitude in check.
I'm going to have to start cooking regular meals again. I hope I remember how.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Twilight Fan and Proud of It
Yes I am a Twilight fan. Yes I know you may think I'm crazy/stupid/juvenile. And guess what...I don't care.
I didn't start to read the books until after the first movie had been released on DVD. At that time all four books had been published. My oldest son was just over a year old. And I was RELUCTANT to get into something that seemed so beneath me (cuz I'm too cool for that). BUT...I seem to like the same sort of books my sister Amie and my mom like. Amie read them first. She raved so much Mom picked them up. Then Mom got excited for the movie after finishing the first book. And it was over for me.
I read all 4 books in 8 days. Halfway through the first book, I handed my son to my husband. "He's all yours until I finish this book." I read in the mornings, breaks at work, after supper. I did not put it down. I COULD not put it down. Amie had agreed to loan me her books when Mom finished. Mom wasn't fast enough. Ten minutes after finishing Twilight (and giving Logan a nice little kiss and hug), I was off to Wal-Mart to pick up New Moon and Eclipse.
That's how it went for just over a week. I lived, breathed, slept Stephenie Meyer.
And now I find myself doing the same thing with the movies. We have a TV in our bedroom and all the movie channels Dish Network has to offer. And lately you can find at least one of these movies on around the time I go to bed. And I always tune in.
I know Kristen Stewart isn't Katherine Hepburn. I know the plot line isn't Shakespeare. But I. Am. Hooked.
What is it? Why do I like it so much?????
I am a romantic. I think I'm still a teenager in that emotional department. I imagine how nice it would be if my husband would sing me a love song when it comes on the radio and confess how it reminds him of me. I am also an emotional creature. I cry at church just from the message of a song during Praise and Worship. And, poorly written as it may be, this series pulls at those two strings in me perfectly. I can relate to teenage Bella. I always felt like the guy I was in love with at the time was the world; I believed I would do anything for him, as he would for me. What girl wouldn't want a man who is strong, devoted, enamored with her?
My only fear, or hesitation, is the possibility of setting up expectations. What man COULD be Edward? He's a fantasy, an unrealistic vision that can never be. And measuring up a true male to those standards would make any of them run.
I'm lucky in that I have a truly amazing husband. With all that life has handed him, he is the most level-headed person I know. He is my Edward.
So, I'm gonna go now and watch Eclipse. Because it's on. And the big fight is about to happen. :-)
I didn't start to read the books until after the first movie had been released on DVD. At that time all four books had been published. My oldest son was just over a year old. And I was RELUCTANT to get into something that seemed so beneath me (cuz I'm too cool for that). BUT...I seem to like the same sort of books my sister Amie and my mom like. Amie read them first. She raved so much Mom picked them up. Then Mom got excited for the movie after finishing the first book. And it was over for me.
I read all 4 books in 8 days. Halfway through the first book, I handed my son to my husband. "He's all yours until I finish this book." I read in the mornings, breaks at work, after supper. I did not put it down. I COULD not put it down. Amie had agreed to loan me her books when Mom finished. Mom wasn't fast enough. Ten minutes after finishing Twilight (and giving Logan a nice little kiss and hug), I was off to Wal-Mart to pick up New Moon and Eclipse.
That's how it went for just over a week. I lived, breathed, slept Stephenie Meyer.
And now I find myself doing the same thing with the movies. We have a TV in our bedroom and all the movie channels Dish Network has to offer. And lately you can find at least one of these movies on around the time I go to bed. And I always tune in.
I know Kristen Stewart isn't Katherine Hepburn. I know the plot line isn't Shakespeare. But I. Am. Hooked.
What is it? Why do I like it so much?????
I am a romantic. I think I'm still a teenager in that emotional department. I imagine how nice it would be if my husband would sing me a love song when it comes on the radio and confess how it reminds him of me. I am also an emotional creature. I cry at church just from the message of a song during Praise and Worship. And, poorly written as it may be, this series pulls at those two strings in me perfectly. I can relate to teenage Bella. I always felt like the guy I was in love with at the time was the world; I believed I would do anything for him, as he would for me. What girl wouldn't want a man who is strong, devoted, enamored with her?
My only fear, or hesitation, is the possibility of setting up expectations. What man COULD be Edward? He's a fantasy, an unrealistic vision that can never be. And measuring up a true male to those standards would make any of them run.
I'm lucky in that I have a truly amazing husband. With all that life has handed him, he is the most level-headed person I know. He is my Edward.
So, I'm gonna go now and watch Eclipse. Because it's on. And the big fight is about to happen. :-)
Sunday, November 27, 2011
30 and Counting
I celebrated my 30th birthday yesterday. I spent most of the day reflecting, but not in a way you would expect.
Age doesn't bother me. I make a big deal out of it because it's funny, because it's what people expect. My mother is the same way. Her philosophy is that each birthday is a blessing, a badge of sorts. The alternative is much less appealing.
I had to have a good long talk with myself. Because of my attitude.
As children, we are the center of attention on our birthdays. I just don't seem to have outgrown that mentality.
Backtrack a year...
On my 29th birthday, the day after I hosted my very first Thanksgiving meal (with lots of help from a dear friend), I had voiced my desire to do nothing. No need to go out for a meal, since we had just eaten like pigs. No need for a get together, since we had all been together for a few days due to Thanksgiving. So I got what I asked for. No cards. No cake. No singing. Eric and I cleaned out the garage. Hooray. Not. And I threw a fit afterwards. But I only had myself to blame.
So in preparation for the big 3-0, I told my husband to make a big deal, partially to make up for 29.
The morning of my birthday, he was making phone calls, still planning. *sigh*
In his defense, he has been traveling a TREMENDOUS amount since March. And he's not an "on time" romantic. He's a "random" romantic.
I sulked to the bedroom, had myself a good cry and went to Jazzercise. When I got home, Eric had taken the boys shopping to give me some alone time (read "Get Mommy her card"...at least I got a card this year!!!). As I showered I started to sulk again, because there was no party, no cake, no surprises, and I was alone.
But it hit me -- YOU ARE 30. YOU ARE AN ADULT. ACT LIKE IT.
My husband gave me alone time because I haven't been getting much of it lately with his travel schedule. Blessing. I got to go to Jazzercise and do something for my body & health. Blessing. I treated myself to Starbucks. Blessing. We ended up going to dinner with friends. Blessing. I got cards from my husband and boys. Blessing. I got more than enough "Happy Birthdays" on Facebook. Blessing. Phone calls from my parents. Blessing. On and on. Lots of blessings. Not the exact way I wanted. But my family and friends helped me celebrate in ways they thought I would enjoy. What's wrong with that?
So I tried my best, and I think I succeeded, in accepting what happened, and not making others feel like I was ungrateful. Because I truly am grateful.
So, for the next 30 years, my focus will be on being clear on my expectations, and not being thrown for a loop when things don't go my way.
And I'll be clear to my husband. 40th Birthday. Party. Balloons. TONS of people. The whole works. Maybe.
Age doesn't bother me. I make a big deal out of it because it's funny, because it's what people expect. My mother is the same way. Her philosophy is that each birthday is a blessing, a badge of sorts. The alternative is much less appealing.
I had to have a good long talk with myself. Because of my attitude.
As children, we are the center of attention on our birthdays. I just don't seem to have outgrown that mentality.
Backtrack a year...
On my 29th birthday, the day after I hosted my very first Thanksgiving meal (with lots of help from a dear friend), I had voiced my desire to do nothing. No need to go out for a meal, since we had just eaten like pigs. No need for a get together, since we had all been together for a few days due to Thanksgiving. So I got what I asked for. No cards. No cake. No singing. Eric and I cleaned out the garage. Hooray. Not. And I threw a fit afterwards. But I only had myself to blame.
So in preparation for the big 3-0, I told my husband to make a big deal, partially to make up for 29.
The morning of my birthday, he was making phone calls, still planning. *sigh*
In his defense, he has been traveling a TREMENDOUS amount since March. And he's not an "on time" romantic. He's a "random" romantic.
I sulked to the bedroom, had myself a good cry and went to Jazzercise. When I got home, Eric had taken the boys shopping to give me some alone time (read "Get Mommy her card"...at least I got a card this year!!!). As I showered I started to sulk again, because there was no party, no cake, no surprises, and I was alone.
But it hit me -- YOU ARE 30. YOU ARE AN ADULT. ACT LIKE IT.
My husband gave me alone time because I haven't been getting much of it lately with his travel schedule. Blessing. I got to go to Jazzercise and do something for my body & health. Blessing. I treated myself to Starbucks. Blessing. We ended up going to dinner with friends. Blessing. I got cards from my husband and boys. Blessing. I got more than enough "Happy Birthdays" on Facebook. Blessing. Phone calls from my parents. Blessing. On and on. Lots of blessings. Not the exact way I wanted. But my family and friends helped me celebrate in ways they thought I would enjoy. What's wrong with that?
So I tried my best, and I think I succeeded, in accepting what happened, and not making others feel like I was ungrateful. Because I truly am grateful.
So, for the next 30 years, my focus will be on being clear on my expectations, and not being thrown for a loop when things don't go my way.
And I'll be clear to my husband. 40th Birthday. Party. Balloons. TONS of people. The whole works. Maybe.
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